I am about to call it quits and move on ( WAS)

[Queen_of_Swords]

Kind of a journal entry.

I kind of realise where I am now.
I have been hurting for so long I am now shutting down and putting up a wall. I am becoming hard and obdurate.
I feel I am fighting a losing battle, and it's time to cut my losses, allow my wounds to heal and develop unfeeling scar tissue.
I look at my old handwritten journals and it's just repetitive of the same themes and pain, pages and pages of it.

I am coming to the point where I now truly believe I don't matter and never did to him. His only concern is the kids' welfare. I am just an inconvienent and very big mistake.

I don't know that I can be half in and half out the way DB seems to want to play things. Hope for your marriage, work to reconcilation, but at the same time make a life for yourself ( how is this different from making a complete break and moving on?)

Celebrate every baby step, while at the same time your world is in pieces and you're struggling to cope. Living without the companionship, affection and sex present in marriage.

Maybe I'm missimg something.