OMG...Kissak your H sounds so much like my XH!! We have never stopped a physical relationship thru everything..him being with and leaving me for OW #1, cheated on her the whole time and even when we moved away and he came up here to visit he cheated on her and I told her and then I was to blame for him cheating and such..then, we started working towards a relationship and OW #2 came along and I had no clue about her, he came up here and was with me 3 times before I found out forsure about her, she found out on her own and contacted me saying she was breaking up with him, but went back to him without me knowing it as I was again building a relationship with him..THEY ARE NUTS!! My XH is coming up for Christmas and was going to stay with us as usual and then I found out he was seen with the OW #2 again and told him "no" he went nuts, said they are just friends, blah, blah, blah...I held my ground, more nuts...then I finally for the kids said he could come, he said he would stay at a hotel, I said "cool", he then emailed begging to stay with us...it is a game they play...read this thread...
It says it all and will help you a lot!! I am determined not to allow this game of pursuit and distance to continue. I am done! It is so hard with the kids and the OW's!! I have put my foot down and gone nuts that they are not to be in my kids lives at all (we live 700 miles away, but D17 has been living with him and he has allowed this horrible woman into her life..both is OW's lost custoday of their kids or gave them up willingly, they are complete wh**es!!)
I forget what someone put on here about how they (the MLC'er) will seek anything that makes them feel good and take away the pain, and that is exactly right, and they don't care who they are hurting or what is happening around them, it is all about them and making the pain stop for even a moment. We have so much in common and I know the pain you are in is so overwhelming!
I agree about not talking to the husband of that OW, I have done that too and it makes your life more miserable. The things they tell you will do you no good at all and only make it worse. Snodderly is 100% right!!
Hang in there, and stand your ground, read the above link too.
A
Me-40 XH-44 T-21 M-18 Div-19 mo. D-18,S-15,D-11 Bomb-7/07 EA,PA Mvd out-9/07-to give me space mvd back-12/07 mvd out-7/08 back with OW since 2/08 OW broke it off-1/10 in and out of tunnel and our life since!!
Thanks...that is exactly what I was thinking. I feel bad for the guy because I know him and how he must feel...but honestly I just think he needs to take it up with my Husband....and I hope he does. My H has gotten away with this stuff for way too long. Time for him to face what he has done!
AND I really dont wanna know anymore than I already do. I did email the guy back, told him that I was having a busy day today and if there was something I could help him with, just to let me know. Havent heard back from him. I already know that his wife and my H had sex....I have the emails to prove that...thats all I need. It doesnt really bother me anymore. This mans wife is about 10 years older than my H and is the most unattractive woman I have ever seen (and im being nice) I know whatever went on with them was just sex. She was vulnerable and my H used that. I hope these 2 can work things out....But really its NOT my problem.
Merry Christmas to you too!
Kissak
"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalms 56:3 M-37 H-37 S-10, D-15 M- 1993 First bomb- 12/23/06 Came and went too MANY times! Gone again 10-25-10
I will read it. My H is exactly as you said....he uses all these women to make HIM feel better. He is selfish and admitted that to me. That when he is talking to the OW he is ONLY thinking about HIMSELF...not the consequences. He may have had a part in another marriage breaking up....not a good place to be in. This isnt the only marriage he has messed with....I just wish he could see what he is doing and how he is messing up others lives.....
Kissak
"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalms 56:3 M-37 H-37 S-10, D-15 M- 1993 First bomb- 12/23/06 Came and went too MANY times! Gone again 10-25-10
Won't let me edit...but I want to add that OW #1 was about as UGLY as they come and I am not just saying that, every single person who saw her thought she just hidious!! I was never sure if that was suppose to make me feel better or worse...why and how could he leave me for that?? How could he rather wake up to her than me each morning? I still have no clue, cause she is a very, very ugly woman inside and out!! OW #2 is pretty on the outside, very fake, has fake boobs, is tan all the time...but she is 33 years old and looks 45 because of it! And, she is about as UGLY as they come on the inside...she lost custoday of her 13 yr old daughter because she has so many men in and out of her bed the D13 went to the conselor at school and said she could hear her mom having sex with different men in the bedroom next to her's and she was grossed out about it, she was leaving the D13 and D4 (from another marrige, yep, married twice with kids from both and D'd twice before 31!!) home alone overnight to go be with different men. She is a known prostitute, my XH has told people that and was still dating her...honestly...they are seeking to take the pain away with ANYONE BESIDES US WHO WILL DO IT FOR THEM!! It can't be us because in their minds we are the cause of all the pain. Mine tells me everytime we get into it that all would have been perfect in his life had I not taken the kids away from him (moved away to survive and have a job because of what HE did!!) and he never, ever says a word about how my moving away was a reaction to his action to leave us for another woman and demand a D that I didn't want!! So, my take is that they can only be with woman who are just as bad or worse and have done the same things they have, cause a "normal" woman would make them feel bad and never accept them, so regardless of looks they have to find one that has sunk to the same low levels of life that they have!!
A
Me-40 XH-44 T-21 M-18 Div-19 mo. D-18,S-15,D-11 Bomb-7/07 EA,PA Mvd out-9/07-to give me space mvd back-12/07 mvd out-7/08 back with OW since 2/08 OW broke it off-1/10 in and out of tunnel and our life since!!
augtan....that is just sad isnt it? Sad that they have to stoop to that level. I will never understand it.
Kissak
"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalms 56:3 M-37 H-37 S-10, D-15 M- 1993 First bomb- 12/23/06 Came and went too MANY times! Gone again 10-25-10
Well, the woman's H called me. Caught me off guard. Said he just wanted me to be aware that my H was at it again. All I said was that I knew about it and that I had threw my H out of the house a couple of months ago.
He knows me, respects me, told me he wouldnt go into details, but that his wife had been sick and in the hospital with stress related problems because of this. Supposedly she wanted to come clean to her H and tell him. AND my H begged her NOT to tell. Seems it went on the whole time we were "working" on things this year. Her H also told me that it was just between the 4 of us. That he was going to confront my H when he was calmer. That he and his wife were going to try to work through this and that If I needed any testimony during our divorce, that he AND his WIFE would be there to help me! Really!
So, Im pretty sure my H is waiting for me to blow up with this...he has bothered me to death ALL day wanting to know what is up with me! BUT Im not gonna let it bother me ONE BIT! He made his bed and now he can LIE in it!! Supposedly this man's wife told my H she was gonna tell her H about it...so, my H is just stewing....he wont hear a word of it from me....I took care of my problem, this is all between him, the OW and her H.
I cant believe I was married to this man for soooo long and NEVER really truly saw this.
Kissak
"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalms 56:3 M-37 H-37 S-10, D-15 M- 1993 First bomb- 12/23/06 Came and went too MANY times! Gone again 10-25-10
K, I'm sorry that you had to hear this, but I would have cut this man off the minute he started yapping. You don't need to hear this garbage from him or anyone else...you already knew a lot of it.
What kind of man would call you up and right here before a holiday? That is down right selfish on his part and very insensitive. Please don't take any more of his calls...to me...he's out for revenge and wants to use you to get it.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Thanks Snodderly...I dont think he is out for revenge though. He only did what I probably would have wanted him to do if me and my H were still together. I agree though, it could have waited till after the holidays. Im sure he will handle my H. And your right, I already knew alot of it. The thing is he knows all about what my H did the first time he left and all about the Ow and drama that went on with them, and how i went through alot and took him back....Im sure he was only wanting me to know I deserve better.....Its ok. Im fine...my H is losing it though....I plan to enjoy my holiday and not worry about it!!!!
My H knows something is up and will not leave me alone though.
Kissak
"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalms 56:3 M-37 H-37 S-10, D-15 M- 1993 First bomb- 12/23/06 Came and went too MANY times! Gone again 10-25-10
K, Please take care of yourself and enjoy the holiday season. Of course your h knows that something is up...his radar is working in over drive.
Take care.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
