I was contemplating the term soul mate. I don't believe there is such a thing though the WAS will tell you different ONLY DURING THEIR AFFAIR!
Why?
Your soul mate is only a soul mate FOR THE PRESENT DAY!
Cases in point: 1. Today you meet your "soul mate". Life is great, blissful. Two years pass and then three and then four then ten. Your soul mate is now a different person (don't we all change as we age?). So is this person still your soul mate? He/she likes different things, has different interests. Most likely different from your interests.
2. You meet your soul mate and two years later he/she has a change of heart and wants to break up/divorce. Are they still your soul mate if they don't want you?
Yes, there are people that seem to click better than others but clicking is not a soul mate.
The moral of the story... No matter how great the match appears, any successful marriage takes a tremendous amount of effort and work.
You can't rely or put any validation in the concept of a soul mate. And don't believe it when you WAS says that they have, "found their soul mate." They are in a fog!
M: 42 - W: 41 - M: 18 - T: 23 - D:16 S:14 EA - July 2010 NC w/EA - Nov 2010 Piecing - Jan 2011 I ask for div - Jan 2012 Div papers filed - Mar 2012 I move out - July 2012 Divorce final - Nov 7, 2012
And don't believe it when you WAS says that they have, "found their soul mate." They are in a fog!
SBH: I couldn't agree with you more. My H had a dialogue with a friend of his from HS on FB about how she has to meet the "love of his life". Not sure how much truth to it there is or if he was just being his cruel self these days knowing I may see it.
It obviously upset me so I told a friend of mine and the response was, "if I got a dollar for everytime one of my friends said this, I'd be rich"! One day they will wake up! I just don't know why we have to be the brunt of their confusion.
BITS
M: 48, H: 42 Kids: 0 T: 20 yrs M: 16 yrs. (H's 1st, my 2nd) WAS/MLC: 12/7/09-I'm not the wife HE deserved Came home per L: 12/26/09, Left again: 2/6/10 Served: 10/21/10, D FINAL: 6/15/11
I personally believe God puts people in front of us to love (as friends, as family, etc). We choose how, we make the commitment and do the work. With some relationships it's more work than with others, but just because it's easier doesn't mean its more worthwhile.
I think we're made to be able to heal from our spouse's death or if they leave us, and move on, but I don't think we're built to go through a lot of people/relationships--you know, serially. And we do that so often now -- it takes a big toll on our emotions and psyche.
sg Love is PATIENT, love is KIND, LOVE never fails / DB since 2001
I think it's how you look at a soul mate. If you look at a soulmate like a picture that you stare at and always see the same thing and you don't expect it to change (I mean it's a picture) Then yes, you will always be disappointed by the concept of soulmate.
However, if you see the soulmate as a person who is human, who is ever changing, but you are connected in such a way that you accept those changes. then yes the soulmate is alive and well.
I'm convinced my W is my soulmate, no question. But just because I get mad at her or frustrated at times doesn't make her any less so.
I think not believing in a soulmate is a convenient way to let your self out of relationship in the need arises. I mean hey, they are just another person right? Any warm female could fill that role with the right "training."
Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet. --Jean Jacques Rousseau.
I don’t believe in the idea of soul mate’s – I think any two people can fall in love and share their life together, and that living with a person that long takes a lot of work. If one relationship fails there is someone else out there for you.
Mark Gungor has a good explanation of what a soul mate is. In short it's part of ancient Greek/Roman myth where humans were two souls in one body and that was pulled apart by the Gods with the souls doomed to wander the earth in search of each other.
So, something once whole and complete split apart.
In reality in order to be married, you must be two complete, mentally and emotionally whole people, creating something larger than themselves.
I reject the term soul mate for that reason.
BITS Me-51, WAS-52 Kids 2 M-26yrs, H.left 2009, 2 more Bomb drops, Reconnection spring 2013 Change is inevitable, personal growth is a choice. Love is a action and choice you make, every day.
