Fix me, fix my life, win back my wife

[ScaredinCanada]

So I obviously shouldn't have talked to my MIL. I got a phone call from my W asking questions about "what did you talk to my M about?" that didn't really go well.

Also tonight we got talking about the R which she brought up, and I was most reassuring and validating until she hits an emotional nerve.

She was wrapping gifts for Christmas and I was bathing the kids. I came into the room and she was holding a roll of paper and I said "What are you going to do with it?" to which she said "Nothing" and I just said "That's not what I was expecting", and her reply was "Well I hope you weren't expected a hug or ILY as you'll be waiting a very long time" - whcih just floored me! She followed with "I was only joking" and then a "Sorry I'm not trying to hurt you"???!!!

After I got over it a bit she told me again that is both dreading and looking forward to my brothers wedding, because it's "The last time I EVER have to see your M." I reassured her a bit, but told her I didn't it made any sense to talk like that at this point. She went on to say that if she wasn't working on the day my parents are having dinner she "wouldn't permit me to take the kids to my parents house"

She said going forward her and the kids will not goto any family functions where my mother will be...she said I can agree to this or "We can get a divorce!"

This is honestly the first time since the B that she's said the D word.

She basically telling me that she isn't going have anything to do with my M, so that I essentially have a choice to make.

Now I understand her position, but I do feel like the issues are finally being dealt with between myself and my M.

Do I add presure on my M to apologise to my W and try to make amends??

I don't really know what to do.

Surprisingly I actually feel better after having this discussion because I feel like my W actually opened up more and talked to me, which felt good.