Kaboom

[girlfromipanema]

When my H and I first started dating, we kept our relationship private. We didn’t want to let anyone in on our secret since our company is so small. My boss eventually figured it out and asked me to curtail the relationship because he and I work closely together and I have access to confidential information. He was concerned that I would share that information with H (which I wouldn’t, but I understand his concern). Trying to stay away from H was a nightmare. We missed each other’s company tremendously and we eventually started sneaking around again and every minute of every weekend was spent together. (I'm sure when OW and H tried to break off the affair several times, they had as much trouble staying apart as H and I did.)

H was eventually promoted to a position above mine in the company and H told my boss the truth about us. We still kept the relationship under wraps to the remaining staff until we announced our engagement. (OW was present during the engagement announcement and said, “I have an announcement of my own: BF and I are engaged too!”). My guess is she’s had feelings for my H for as long as I have… and finding out we were engaged was very difficult for her.

We married quickly (a couple of days after the announcement) and then six months later the EA began with OW. I’m wondering if H thrives on the secrecy… and can’t live happily without it. If that is the case, I’m not the right person for him.

When you ask for transparency, and your spouse agrees to it, how do you know you’ll get it? I certainly can’t take his word for it. I’m sure Not Just Friends addresses it, but I didn’t have a chance to do any reading last night. My Xanax did the trick. I went to bed at 7 and slept better than I have since December 7 (my boss had a heart attack, followed by open heart surgery and I was by his side nearly the entire time. H took nightshift while I had the day shift. My boss is doing great, by the way). It’s been a stressful time. My sister had surgery for Renal Cell Carcinoma last Monday. I pray she’ll be fine. She’s only 39…