Have you seen a therapist to work on your own problems first? I think that until you do all this DB stuff will be window dressing. You seem to recognize the problem, but then lack the initiative to do anything about it. Your marriage won't get back on track just by you wishing it will. Sorry if that sounds harsh. You have to put in the effort. Unlike many people here, it appears you have a spouse that is willing to work on things and willing to give to you. That is golden my friend.
Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet. --Jean Jacques Rousseau.
