All that I can do now is sit around waiting for her to let me know
What do you mean?
I am refering to you sitting around waiting for her to let you know something. I tend to speak bluntly at times, so please don't be offended by what I say. It is not attractive to her when she sees you appear to be helpless due to her control over you. I understand what you mean, however it's very important that you get out, get a life of your own, and do not appear to be helplessly standing around wringing hands and waiting to see her hand you the verdict.
If you would move forward as if you were making a new life, that would be much more postitve and attractive. You have to work at determining to think & act positive in the face of negitivity.
This is not a ploy to get her back, but for your own sake.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Yeah, I'm doing all of that. I just mean that I have no control over her decisions so all that I can do is wait to see what she does. I am living with my Dad now and don't have much contact with her so it's not like she is seeing me sit around waiting for her like a puppy
BITS
M 11/11/00 Bomb end of September 2010 Filed 11/9/10
Completely understand man... I feel like calling and telling my wife that multiple times each day. Not being able to leaves such a hole in my heart.
M 43 X 38 T 13 W moves out of home 11/2010 Roller coaster from hell 2/2011-5/2012 I request divorce 5/2012 W moves home 6/2012 Good time 7/2012 - 1/2015 I leave 3/2016 process of divorce
she emailed me today saying that she was going to talk to the lawyer about our finances and stuff because she just wants to do right by both of us... i have told her that she can have whatever she wants and the email upset me. i replied with:
The right thing to do is not get divorced. I told you that you can have whatever you want and give me whatever you don't want. You can't divorce me and then do right. It doesn't work that way.
bad?
BITS
M 11/11/00 Bomb end of September 2010 Filed 11/9/10
Sounds like she's uncomfortable being in "limbo." Same as my W. Mine even wanted to settle accounts and remain together as roommates for the kids. I told that's not going to happen. I'm not going to be her roomie, while she lives the single life. If you don't want the D then don't help her get the D. Make her do all the work.
Me 53 XW 50 M 18 Years +2 S14 D19 Bomb 10-24-10 Served 1-27-11 Mediate 4-21-11 Civil D Final 6-2-11 No church anullment "A man is not finished when he is defeated, he is finished when he quits."
Well we are only in limbo because she hasn't followed up with her lawyer. She filed on November 9th and I told her to split up our assets however she wants. She can have it all or I'll take whatever... I don't know if she is stalling to give herself time to think or what. I am the one that has been left in limbo though.
BITS
M 11/11/00 Bomb end of September 2010 Filed 11/9/10
Why are you letting her have everything she wants? You may not regret it right away, but you may later. You need to look ahead to life without her and imagine it without all you stuff as well. Consider carefully this decision.
Me 53 XW 50 M 18 Years +2 S14 D19 Bomb 10-24-10 Served 1-27-11 Mediate 4-21-11 Civil D Final 6-2-11 No church anullment "A man is not finished when he is defeated, he is finished when he quits."
I got my stuff when I moved out. All of my personal belongings I mean. I told her that she can split the rest up however she wants and that if she wants it all that's fine. But she is dragging it out and I don't understand why. It could be that she wants to have time to think or who knows.
BITS
M 11/11/00 Bomb end of September 2010 Filed 11/9/10
