I want to tie myself to her. That rope I destroyed by years of selfishness has been tied to someone else. I'm not taking all the blame for what she had done. We both played a role in this disconnect. But now, more than anything, I want to mend that rope. I want to walk hand in hand with a comforting love.
Every waking moment I'm full of anxiety. But I'm trying to hold back my fears and stand strong in the midst of the storm. Holding just a mustard seed of faith that God is with us.
I got out of the shower this morning and started crying. When I got out into the living room after dressing I did it again. Deep crying. Crying with no clear cut reason. Just from weight and confusion.
God have mercy on me.
Me:42 W:43 M:03/08/98 SD17, D13 Found out about affair:12/16/10 Found out again: 06/22/12 Split: 06/22/12
