I'm sorry to hear about the Kaboom and I'm happy to hear you're reading "Not Just Friends". It provides perspective and lays out a plan of action for both spouses.
Congratulations on being responsible for you own happiness and dealing with this in a healthy way. Pointing out to your former friend that she's the only one who can control her fate and joy in life is beautiful thing. It's kinda weird that she gets upset at his lying to her (while she continued a relationship with a boyfriend) but not you. Ahh.. so selfish.
Demands, transparency and boundaries are needed now and in the future, regardless of the outcome. Reflect on what is more important.. your relationship with yourself, your marriage (if that is your decision) or a job? That has been a trap in the past and will continue to be. You are an incredible loving person and deserve the best. And your husband needs to commit one way or the other.
Many recommend direct confrontation with the wayward spouse, transparency, all of which is included in the book you're reading.
