Journaling I spoke to my husband tonight....he mailed me Sunday at my job address said he wanted me to call him that he needed to talk to me...I called twice and he never picked up, so being the worry wart that I am I asked my daughter to call him for me cause I knew he would pick up for her...he was mad at me for telling his bros. and his sister that he was behind on his pyts... Of course blaming me again.... I told him when I spoke to his family it was not about him I might of mentioned he was behind a while ago..but I had to ask his sister for some money 2 weeks ago cause we were down to nothing in our fridge and I guess she called him and asked him if he was sending us any money...wanted to know what I was telling our daughter..... I got kind of mad and I told him I would do anything to get food on our table and if that meant calling some of his family then I would have to swallow my pride and call them... I kinda wanted to cry becuase I felt he was blaming me again. I told him to get a freaking job and to get her fat a** to get one too...was she more special than me?? I worked during our entire marriage why was she allowed to stay at home to take care of him. I asked him about the div. if this was what he really wanted..he said "well you signed the papers didnt you? I told him I had to sign them or I would be in default.he was worried what I was going to do on that day and I told him I was going to tell the truth that I didnt want a div. I told him I still, after all these yrs. I still love him and he can come home whnever he is ready. Bad div/busting but oh well....then I had a good cry after we hung up...he still blames me for everything of course who better to put the blame on... I told him the truth tonight, how I felt and n/c for me is so much better... He sounded so much like my old husband, his tone of voice has chg'd. Damn it I hate this!!!!!! Ya'll be blessed..... Irma
