I agree completely... Detaching is the ultimate experience for YOU. I have to tell you, I was a huge MESS when I joined DB. Anxious, tired, angry, scared, confused, stubborn. My H left Xmas eve last year and said he was never coming back, started proceedings but was called away to duty before anything ever happened. We are piecing as well, but the one very important thing I learned is that I am okay with or without him. I define who I am. I think you are on the right track. Keep focusing on you.
You already know you can't change him, only he can change himself and be prepared and exhaust the efforts to work on the marriage. You are doing great.
OLD THREAD-http://tinyurl.com/y98nuty Me 44 H 51 T 15 yrs M 9+ yrs No Kids "You may be deceived if you trust too much, but you will live in torment unless you trust enough."
