My Dad's surgery is done. There was nothing the surgeon could do. Dad's riddled with cancer. He has two to three months to live. The surgeon is meeting with Dad and our family tomorrow afternoon to talk about options. He can insert a tube that will stop Dad from throwing up. Dad can choose to have chemotherapy which will prolong his life but cannot cure him. If he wishes to go home they will provide the home care supports he needs or he can stay in the hospital and be transferred to Paliative care. The surgeon says he can't fathom how Dad has been able to carry on the way he has with the amount of Cancer that's in his body. We saw Dad briefly after the operation and told him as little as possible, the nurse said he won't remember anything anyway. Afterwards I went over to wife's house to tell her and the kids. My brother and Mother went over to my sister's to tell her. He's had a great 79 years and now we have to pull together to make his last few months the best we can. Luv U Dad!
Oh, wii, I am so sorry to read this. I remember getting a similar diagnosis for my mother. She opted for the chemo and lived 18 months longer, most of which was very good quality of life for her. In a strange way, she became more alive and active, more engaged with others, after she was diagnosed. I wish I was closer to give you a real one, but please know that I'm sending cyber hugs to you and your family tonight...
I am terribly sorry. I know with my beloved grandmother she said she had wanted so many things to experience one more time. I think she told us all differnet reasons. None the less she lived another year and my wish as she passed was that I could be more like her.
I hope you can feel the hugs and prayers I am sending your way.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
Thanks Donna and Kat. My mom just phoned and told me that my father, who just had surgery, had an epidural and is stoned on Morphine, just called her from the Recovery room! He wanted to know what happened in surgery and where his watch is! She couldn't believe it. He's one tough old bird...that's my Dad.
I'm so sorry to hear this, Wii. Went through it with my Mom 5 years ago. She opted for Raditation and Chemo. She still died 3 months later. I wished we'd just made her comfortable but it really was her choice.
Be strong. Your dad, your mom and your daughters will need you to be. And spend as much time as you possibly can with him. You will never regret it.
I'm glad he came out of the surgery so well. Hang in there.
Thanks SFO. Chemo or not will be Dad's choice. He had Chemo three years ago and sailed through it. He didn't lose a meal or a hair. He did feel fatigued though and was much healthier than he is now. I went through this 11 years ago with wife's father, he passed away from stomach cancer. I told my girls tonight that I still remember our visits to him in Paliative Care. Despite the pain and weakness whenever he saw the girls his face would just light up. I told them that they brought him such joy in his last days and they will do the same for Grandpa. I also remember the nurses at one point not allowing the girls into the Paliative Care unit and my wife screaming at them "You f'ing bitches" over and over. We were in HK for a month and her Dad died after 1.5 weeks. She was never quite the same after that, she loved her Dad a great deal. I said to my mom tonight that part of me wishes Dad had of just gone on the table, I don't want to see him in pain like my father-in-law. I talked to my best friend, who lost his Dad about 30 years ago suddenly. He said what he wishes is that he could have had some time with his Dad to say what he wanted to say to him but he never had the chance, I have that chance. Anyway, I really should try the sleep thing again. Goodnight all.
I am sorry to read about your dad, Wii. I remember when he was going through this before, and how tough he was. The Tao Te Ching says, "we live until we die." Your dad is still alive and that is something to be joyful about. Who knows when his time will come. The doctors can't say for a certainty. Just enjoy your time with him. I know you will support whatever choice he makes. Often, chemo gets rid of all the cancer, at the bemusement of doctors, but there are those pesky odds. Just remember, your dad is not a statistic, and he is not date stamped.
Things I take to try and reduce my cancer (just a suggestion that you might like to get your dad to try): Vit. D3, lots of berries, veggies (the more colourful the better), organic foods, wild salmon; just came across the benefits of coconut oil for all kinds of ailments, so I have started eating it (everything cooked in it, and also things like coconut ice-cream, coconut milk, etc.). I am not looking for a cure, just to live longer like your dad. No-one gets out alive, anyway, but if you can go out comfortably, I'd say that that's a good thing.
You and your family are in my prayers.
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
