The railway to the Zugspitze starts in Garmisch-Partenkirchen, which I think is a great place to visit. It was the site of the 1936 Winter Olympics, but it's nice in the summer. It makes a nice trip from Munich, which is my favorite summertime German destination. I'd prefer Munich to Berlin, but I can understand that Berlin has to be on the itinerary!
What a pain about ex. As much as I hate to say it though, maybe being forced to deal with S15 for an extended period would drive home the point. While he is the adult, he definitely hasn't figured out that you get more with sugar than vinegar.
Michelle - Proud DR Rockette S: 28JUL07, D'd: 29OCT09 http://tinyurl.com/27j9qo2
No he is vinegar type person. He is right period. I maybe made a little bit of headway. I explained to him that though the kids may "look" good, they are hurting still. They are fragile when it comes to the relationship with their Dad.
Ex's response was that they need to learn how to give here. Don't think he is getting that part. He hurt them in a big way and his answer is to get over it. Try and be the good time Dad. I mentioned to him that the girls told me that he doesn't cuddle with them, just hold them or do things with them, just the three of them. He says he is always there and available though. Not quite the same thing with girls.
I can't teach him how to be their Dad. I tried really hard to express their hurt and while he appreciated my telling him, he also feels as if I feed the pain. So again not what he is doing but what he thinks I must be doing to keep the kids hurting. ugh...his thinking is off.
I found out last night that S15 didn't even eat Thanksgiving while ex's wife and kids were there. Ex's response when I asked about it...well, that's his choice.
I did tell him that I thought he was jumping the gun. He needed to once again work on his own personal relationship with the kids before he even thinks of forcing his new family on them. He has never taken that one on one time. I really do try and stay out of this especially after he told me he didn't need my help about a year and a half ago. It really is his mess to clean up.
Maybe at least I can hand him the bucket.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
You can teach the kids to express their hurt and ask him for what they want/need though. It might have a bit more of an effect coming from them.
Anything from you will just be seen as interference or even the cause of the problem. It's the same blame game as before the D. So just stay out of it. Be there for the kids, but don't make it too easy on your ex by shielding him either.
Michelle - Proud DR Rockette S: 28JUL07, D'd: 29OCT09 http://tinyurl.com/27j9qo2
I have stayed out of their stuff for quite a while now. I wanted to try to explain my concern about S15 and forcing the staying with him for 10 day issue.
So I tried to not get emotional and reminded him that he said he didn't want my help. I have tried to stay out of this as it is between him and the kids. Yet this is a question where I am really worried that S15 might try to run away from his Dad if he made him stay with him.
Somehow ex got sidetracked onto Christmas. I was just told about that this weekend. Another thing of having to go to their Dad's. They have to work this out. I have no desire to run circles around the issue with ex. The problem with this whole thing is when Christmas is at Grandma's house the boys can go together in S18's car but out of town to Dad's the car isn't so reliable and they feel as if they will be made to stay all day. I hate this stuff.
Thank goodness, only one parent had custody of my brother and I. I have never met my biological mother which does have its own issues but at least I never had to split my time between parents!
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
Had Christmas tonight with my parents since they are predicting freezing rain tomorrow. It was really nice.
One scary thing happened though earlier. Someone was looking for d10. It was a lady with glasses and dark hair. She gave her a present and said she used to work with me but didn't give her name. D10 isn't terribly observant and couldn't tell me a whole lot. If she was a friend of mine, I only live less than a block away she should have given her name or came by my house. Scares me that she knew d10's bus stop.
My biological mom's family has done similiar stuff to me when I was younger. I don't know who this is now. Honestly this scared me.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
I would have called the police but since D10 couldn't tell me much and really didn't know what to say. With it being Christmas it could have been my biological Mom...just wish they knew how scary they make these situations.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
Oh she gave her a art drawing set. All D10 could say is I have that already. The kids are having a hard time grasping how unnerving/scary the situation was/is for me.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
