Kaboom

[girlfromipanema]

Anyone can go back and read my previous threads from 2008 if they want more details. I’m too exhausted to spend a lot of time detailing it out. Here’s a recap:

I suspected an emotional affair was going on between my husband and a former close friend. All three of us also work together for a very small company. After a couple of years of asking for appropriate boundaries/reassurances that nothing was going on, I finally snapped in December 2007 while all of us were on vacation in Hawaii. My outburst fueled an intense period of time when my husband treated me with coldness and disgust. I found DB and started making changes in myself. This went on for months and I was getting nowhere so we decided to call it a day on our marriage. After I moved out he finally opened up, apologized and we decided to give our love another try. I was assured that he loved me and that I had nothing to worry about. His actions spoke volumes and I didn’t push requiring transparency or ask a lot of probing questions. I took his word that he and the OW were never more than friends. Big mistake on my part. Since we all work together, I see the interactions between them and it appeared that they had learned to respect the boundaries of my marriage. I was cordial in my dealings with her at the office, but the friendship was over.

H and I have been very happy. We’ve traveled to wonderful places, we’ve laughed and enjoyed each other more than ever. I had absolutely zero indications that something was terribly amiss.

Last Friday the OW’s boyfriend called me out of the blue (we haven't spoken for nearly two years) and said he needed to see me immediately. I met him for coffee and he said he owed me a huge apology. I thought he was going to apologize for giving me the cold shoulder at a party a couple years ago, but instead he said, “6 years”.

He went on to explain that 6 years is how long the love affair between my H and OW has been going on. Nearly the entire length of my marriage. Because things have been so wonderful, I didn’t want to believe him. I told him I needed to process this news and left. Then I called my husband and very calmly told him what I'd heard and that I was confused. I was certain he would say it was all a terrible misunderstanding… instead he said, “let’s call it a day and meet at home to discuss.”

Oh sh*t.

More soon…