Running out of time

[AntoniaB]

Oh and as for the other things you were asking about, I think you should follow your lawyer's advice and sit back and breathe. There isn't much more you CAN do.

I can tell you from my experience that in the beginning I used to call or email my H to try to get him to deal with the legal stuff because it seemed like he was putting his head in the sand. I had an ulterior motive I'll admit now--I know that I was holding out some shred of hope that when I explained this, that, and the other, showing him what a pain it all was, what a lot of work it all was, and the cost to divorce, that I was hoping maybe he'd give up and abandon the idea. Kind of like "gee in my fog I never thought about all these real things coming down on us. Maybe I should stop this before it's too late."

Guess what? It made no difference at all. Logic didn't work. Emotion didn't work. The man wants his divorce and his confusion or foot-dragging, at least in my case, comes from his inability to just handle things like this IN GENERAL. I was always the one who would handle phone calls/lawyers/bill paying/record keeping. My H, this is ALL NEW to him. He's scared about dealing with it all and a procrastinator. I think he figured if he just procrastinated long enough, I would take over and make all the arrangements FOR him.

After I realized that my trying to get him to be definitive or take action one way or the other was only frustrating me, I backed off entirely. The most I've heard from him now is that he FINALLY got a lawyer who is FINALLY working on the QDROs so even though we'll be divorced in a few days, there are still financial ties till the QDROs go through because he dragged his feet on that stuff till now.

So I don't know if that helps, but it seems like it might be a parallel situation.