Today was/is rough. I'm hurt but willing to move forward in counseling. My wife has hurt herself with guilt to the point that she is unsure of many things. One of which is to continue. At least that's what I'm getting from our conversations. She's confused - totally.
Right now, more than anything, I need confirmation that she is willing to move forward. I need this for myself because I feel like I've lost her. And right now she is in a win-win situation. She can fall on me or the other guy and be OK. She doesn't have to feel the real loss of someone she loves because she can find it again in someone who consoled her when I was doing my own things.
I don't know what to do. I feel needy. But I cannot show it because I fear it will push her away. I want to be patient with her. Listen. And be her friend. But more than anything I want to be someone she could never be without. And I'm far from that right now.
This hurts. To be cheated on and still feel like you have to make amends.
Me:42 W:43 M:03/08/98 SD17, D13 Found out about affair:12/16/10 Found out again: 06/22/12 Split: 06/22/12
