It'a All About Me

[Sanderika]

Hello Cas,

YES, Welcome back!!!!

I am sorry that things with your H aren't going well either.

I don't really understand these guys at all.

The conclusion I have come to is this:

Our H's at this point in time (mine anyway) want to be free. I really believe that right now they simply want to be left alone to continue to do as they please, as they please it.

They are so interested in freedom that they only.....

Behave like a H when it suits them.
Behave like a Dad when it suits them.
Behave like a Boyfriend to OW when it suits them.
Behave like a Friend when it suits them.
Behave like a Son when it suits them.

My H appears to want me in his life but without a marriage certificate joining us together. I have been reluctant to post this but the truth is we were "together" a week ago. Spent an entire afternoon enjoying each others company (very much) and we ended up having sex.

The problem is: For me it was a loving gesture towards my H, for H I think it was a loving encounter just with a much more casual meaning. Can this lead to something else? It probably could in a different time and place just not right now. H doesn't want more with me anyway. I can't really allow H to be this way with me in a casual(friends with benefits)kinda way. The only reason I allow myself to be with H is because H is my husband and I am his lawfully wedded wife and to me it's an act of love in this way. Once divorced I will not be able to have sex with H.

It has made me think if perhaps I am grasping for the last ditch effort to save this marriage. If that's the case, than who am I hurting......MYSELF!!!!!!!!!

I plan to be divorced on January 13th. This has me torn up and very sad that my precious family will truly be broken and I am positive H is looking at it as relief and that is why he is not contesting anything or attending anything. H just wants it and our marriage to go away.

I have pondered many comments H has said and this one is screaming at me:

"I think our relationship will be even better after we divorce than it is right now".

Better than this????????????????? What the heck does that mean????????????????

This is a great confusion to me......

I wonder what Christmas will bring.

Cas, a new name for your next thread:

"My H tested the water...It's still too cold"

I should start my own:

"Will a divorce bring about a new beginning for us"

Cas, I hope you are feeling well. I hope you will be able to post the long story for us as you are able....Please take care,

Sanderika