That girl, I find your story inspiring. My wife walked out on me 10 weeks ago and I was a wreck. But I bought DR and read it. I don't how much it helped my marriage, but it did help me. I went from crying constantly in the fetal position to the gym. I have put on seven pounds in six weeks and all of it is muscle. I feel better about myself. I have tried my best to stay active and healthy. It has done wonders for my soul and my mind. So, I congratulate you on your efforts.
I too am trying to conduct my own 180, but I don't know if my wife really cares. But, I will continue to try. She did recently lift the "communications restrictions" she had put in place when she left. Originally I was not allowed to contact her in any way. She told me that if I didn't give her some space, she would resent me and we would never find common ground. I complied. Now, she states I can contact her should I chose. I don't know if she is starting to miss me or if she wants to set me up for divorce papers. To keep up the 180, I have not taken her up on her offer. I am purposely letting her sweat to see what will happen. It is killing me, but I know from DR that I cannot seem anxious or to eager to communicate. I will continue to work on myself and hope.
As for what you should do about your marriage, I say fight for what you want. I want my wife back and I do believe I can have her back and be happy. I realize that I am not any where near that right now, but I will continue to try. My counselor and a couple of my friends have pushed me to file to "take control" of the situation. But that is not what I want. I don't want control, I want to be married to my wife. I love her and we were also good together. For years, we were best friends and great lovers. We just got lost along the way and grew apart. But I do believe we can be saved. I know the mental abuse can be tough. I too probably did that a bit too much at times to my own wife. Men can be *ssholes sometimes because we are so insecure. But I am learning. Keep up the good work. If you want to be happy and spend your life with him, then do it. I would kill to be able to go on a date with my wife right now. There are those out here that are not as lucky as you are right now. Take advantage of it. Stay true to the 180 and you will do fine. Keep up the good work on yourself and keep pushing. I wish you all the luck in the world. Happy Holidays!
Fellonblackdays
Me: 39 W: 36 T: 15 yrs M: 9 yrs S: 09/10
So you can get on with your search, baby And I can get on with mine And maybe someday we will find, That it wasn't really wasted time...
