XH is off his pedestal and I'm moving forward

[goodattitudegirl]

Thank you VERY much for your posts and continued encouragement CW, GGirl, Mila, and Sanderika,

GGirl, thank you SO much for posting your story! It is inspiring to see what can happen even 3-4 years after the bomb.

I do believe that me treating my h with kindness helped. Now he didn't exactly run home, but it did path the way for him to eventually come home. I tried to think in terms of how would God want me to treat my wayward spouse and not how I really wanted to treat him. Even if my h never returned, I wanted to remember that I gave it my all in the M and took the high road despite all the pain my h imposed upon me.

I consider myself to have a strong relationship with God and did what I felt the Lord was leading me to do. Well, h walked in the door 30 days later and I think because we had a good relationship already it was easier to pick up from there rather than this akwardness of not being together for years.

Each month of rebuilding gets better and better.

GGirl, I really appreciate your insights!

CW and Mila, I really appreciate you being in the trenches with me on this journey. We are all trying to move forward in the best way we can.

Sanderika, I don't know how to thank you for input.

Your flirting has caught his attention...he is interested to see what comes next. One thing I learned is that our H/XH's find intrigue in our new found fun, flirty, sexy actions....

Even though they are intrigued they will continue to proceed with caution. This is where positive, consistent behavior will slowly convince him your new flirty GAG is who he likes and wants to spend more time with.

I would continue to flirt to see where I could take this. This is a part of us they yearn for and had, in most cases, thought we were incapable of being again. It's like bringing back the girl they feel in love with. IMO, with time this will go a long way to bring back their loving feelings.

This ^^^^^ REALLY gave me something to think about. Thank you! It made me remember.........I mean REALLY REMEMBER in a way that I haven't done yet on this journey........ how hard I worked at dressing nicely and being fun when XH and I first fell in love. I think all Rs need novelty, but I think XH needs more novelty than most. He is always looking for the newest electronic gadget and always wanted to go out and see new things.

Whatcha going to wear underneath

This ^^^^^^ was also a good reminder. Thank you. I wore a V-neck shirt, but it wasn't as flattering as I would have liked. I guess that I now need to go shopping for some flattering outfits to play TT in.

GAG