Every time you ask "do we need to talk"...That's pressure. Anything you say to her right now is very likely to be pressuring her. You have to stop this. It's only proving to her that she's right to do what she's doing. She's going to do it anyway but every time you give her "proof", she gets to blame you instead of facing the reality of her choices.
Focus on your kids. They need you to be there for them. She's proven that she won't be. Be the best parent you possibly can.
