Need advice and support to keep hope

[Denver_2010]

Thanks IAP. I have read a lot of similar situations on this board, including your's. Sorry for what you are going through too. This is that absolute worst experience in my life.

I did read the Dobson book about "opening the cage". I have incorporated that into my LRT methods. Fell off the horse yesterday after church. I was very emotional and called my wife. Left her a vm telling her that she was right about church, that it would have been a good thing for our marriage, and that I was sorry for not being open to it when she suggested it. Now I'm beating myself up for initiating contact (even though she didn't bother to call me back).

Any thoughts on xmas gift for wife? should I, shouldn't I? I already bought my step son a xmas gift as well as 3 gifts to be "from Santa". I'm not going to short change him. Just not sure about gift for wife or at least card?

Can anyone explain what lovingly detached means? I am having difficulty detaching at all... and tough to be lovingly detached when wife has very little contact with you.

Thanks for any advise and all support.