Looks like we are both new here. I agree with the slow posting. I've tried to post my story twice. Hopefully it will post in the next day or 2 as well as my response to your post.
I'm very sorry for what you are going through. My H left me last Dec. and went to his older brothers for 3 weeks. He came back the day after Xmas unannounced and told me he wanted a D and had already seen an atty. I was beyond devastated. He moved out permanently in Feb. and has been residing in NYC. He filed for D in Oct = will be final sometime in Feb 2011. I live in a no fault state, so I have no leg to stand on. I can't afford an atty nor do I qualify for legal aid. We've been togther for 20 yrs; married 16 with no kids. We don't communicate at all. All of it is just a very sad thing. Alot more to the story, so hopefully my thread will post.
I too push myself to go out, be with friends. I feel it's fake though sometimes. It's been hard to go out Christmas shopping and see all these couples holding hands etc. I really miss my soulmate, but I have to continue to be a better version of myself everyday. I have to be the girl he fell in love with again and she disappeared for a while. I have been in C since he left in Feb. I have an EXCELLENT therapist who has helped me a great deal piece things together.
I too am on the same rollercoster; some days I'm hopeful and other days I just want to stay in bed. People think I'm crazy for still leaving the door open for my H because he filed for D. But there are cases when spouses do come back. SOmetimes a D is what they need sadly to really get the clarity they need to see what they have lost.
I hope that we are both success stories at some point. I keep Michele's book DB on my night stand. I am positive my H is going thru a MLC and I know that I have a long road ahead too. But, if we all stick together, soak in the great advice these long time board members can offer, GAL and stay strong - we will be the greener grass.
Keep the faith. And keep posting!
BITS
M: 48, H: 42 Kids: 0 T: 20 yrs M: 16 yrs. (H's 1st, my 2nd) WAS/MLC: 12/7/09-I'm not the wife HE deserved Came home per L: 12/26/09, Left again: 2/6/10 Served: 10/21/10, D FINAL: 6/15/11
