12-16-10 my wife sends me the following text, "Are u planning on coming here or ur parents for christmas?"
I wait a day because I do not want to seem too eager to respond. Before responding I talk with my mother-in-law about the plans for Christmas and do not bring up my wife or relationship at all, I just tell her that I want to spend time with my family. I also have a conversation with a woman that we had done some swinging with and she ended up seeing us as good friends...I lay out some boundaries with this woman b/c it isn't the healiest of relationships to begin with. She talks to my W and tells her that there are "rules" to being friends and asks if I have always been this way. My W tells her yes, it has to be my way and that's why she left. This woman gets upset with me and tells me that my marriage is hopeless and I am too controlling so I tell her not to contact me anymore. When I reference kids below I am meaning our pets.
Texting on 12-17-10
Me "Lebanon"
W "Ok. I will be moved out by the end of the month hopefully."
Me "Ok"
Me "You were right too, we need to discuss the bills and how I will be able to visit the kids. Once you move out I want you to know that you will be welcome back in the house if you need a place to stay, but the man who's stuff I saw in the bathroom is not welcome."
W "My name is still on this house and legally i can come back wether u say i can or not."
Me "I understand how you feel. I have a legal right to the house as well. That man is not welcome in my home."
W "When r u going to get here?"
Me "Don't know"
W "My mom said something about christmas eve..."
Me "Requested it. Doesn't mean I will get it."
That's the end of the conversation. The positives I found were that she initiated contact, divorce was not mentioned, as far as I know the papers have not been filed, and I validated feelings and set boundaries.
