I wouldnt say we ever Pieced, we just took up where we left off, but with no longer taking each other for granted and with more love and openness.. but even though we have pieced, are married and expecting, I can honestly say I am not "past it". It still bothers me. In fact, it bothers me now more than ever! I think this is because I was just so excited and frankly grateful to be back with him that first year, that its only now things have truly settled down that I can feel anger and resentful for what he did to me. Although, I do have it in perspective now and its not painful anymore.
For what it's worth, my 6-ish month sitch took another 3+ years for me/us to really get into a good groove. It took me a long time to let go of my anger and hurt about H's EA, and a lot of it was because he wouldn't admit he crossed the line. He thought because she didn't return his feelings romantically that the letters, gifts, and time he spent with her didn't cross the line. Until he apologized and cut off all contact, I didn't feel safe. It took us a while to really trust each other with our feelings, knowing that no matter how hard it was to say or hear something, honestly was our only path.
In any case, I think piecing takes years. It's a trauma that the R has to recover from.
SD
Me: 40 H: 43 H had EA from 2/06-9/06 Bomb 5/06 Piecing since 9/2006 3/2008: Boundary setting 7/2009: Boundary crossing~dropped my own bomb. 8/2010: Marriage finally on track!
