Am I piecing? Just can't tell...

[Sad_but_happy]

Me too Pickle... I am in this for the long haul. I DO love my W but because I am "not allowed" to be visably angry or hurt with her at home (due to DB strategy) then I vent here and I hurt here.

And Sandi, think of the emotional toll this takes on a MAN. We don't have anyone to vent to. No group of men want to hear about our pain (unlike women who are there for each other emotionally and support one another). I actually have a friend who's W left him. He is so sad and distraut (it's been almost a year). The attitude of his guy friends is to get over it and go out and get as many woman as you can. They say "what's his problem" and to "get over it".. They don't understand why he is so sad. They mean well but they are men. And until faced with this, men don't get it...

So here I sit by myself with no one to vent to, a hole in my chest as deep as the Grand canyon because the only person I could confide in emotionally decided to have an EA...

All that said...

I will walk in the house today and meet/greet my W with a smile and a hug (no kiss on the cheek). I will not initiate spooning tonight which means we will not spoon

I will continue to DB. I realize that I have it better then 90% of the people on this site. But realize that my knowing that not take my pain away.

I am actually hanging with some friends tonight so the W and kids get to spend some time home alone. It will be a good night for all.