I really need to know if I should start again with small gifts and flowers. If she is trying to get the feeling back then I can only assume that corting her will help the process. I know if I was on the fence and someone was showing me love and affection I would respond positivly...
It seems that at the stage I am it can only help... Anyone agree?
I had read a post of yours on another person's thread. You said something to the effect that flowers & gifts were women's LL. However, it isn't every woman's. It is not mine and would really turn me off at the stage your W is at right now. However, if you know for certain that it is your W's LL, then you could start very slowly with little inexpensive things. Like, seeing something cute that reminds you of when you first met her, first date, some funny memory, etc. But I would shy away from anything serious. Keep it light.
Okay, you vented, so now I am going to respond to that vent and the way I've seen you talk in other posts. Not trying to be ugly, just think you need to see this from another POV.
Please, please do not pursue her with physical affection! Just b/c she is not pushing you away does not mean she's inviting it. She is TRYING to cooperate and you are pushing too hard.
You cannot say what you would want if you were in her place b/c you have not experienced it and all you are wanting is to justify what YOU WANT! I think she's doing a darn good job, but you are not satisfied b/c it's not going fast enough you.
You are asking why you want her? Why does she want you? Have you ever wondered why a woman would want to stay with any man who was so arrogrant? I have read over and over how you express what a great H you've been, and in so many words you are saying that she is is lucky to have you! Oh really? Maybe that is why she was turning to some man who appreciated her. Ever thought about that? Ever thought that your aggrogrance just gets to be more than she can bear? Trust me, if it comes out in your writing, it comes out in your MR. Now you need to decide just how valuable you the she is to you. If you have made this girl feel unworthy due to her not-so-super paying job, or her lack of a college education, or for any other reason....SHAME ON YOU! God commands the man to cherish his W. God did not command the W to cherish her H. Interesting,huh?
Money is not everything. Education and an impressive job title is not everything. But her feeling that she is the most valuable element in the life of her H......that's about as high as you can go with love. Maybe in your heart you feel that way toward her and assumed she knew. But I dare say that she needed to be told and to be shown.
How important did she feel her place in life was whenever you were in a group of people talking? How were you refer to her? Sometimes it little things we get careless about.
Search your heart and memory.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
