The boundries are tough. Between the lies, their sense of entitlement, and their self serving fantasies, it makes it hard to know what to do. All of this has been a lesson for me about what truly is within my ability to control, and what is outside of my control.
Do your best to give your kids the safety and stability they need when they are with you. Help them deal with the chaos and uncertainty they find when they are with their dad. You can't control his actions. Even if all you can do is give them a safe place to rest, you are giving your kids an invaluable gift.
Thanks guys....Having a hard weekend. Its hard excepting my H's choices that he has made. They affect me in every way. Even my kids. Yet, he has no clue. My D is so aggravated with him and how he seems to have no time for them. She even mentioned it to him the other day how she felt like he was trying to get rid of them...of course her dad got mad with her for even saying that. He doesnt get it. I have no idea how to make him understand it and I feel so bad for my D. She already feels like this OW and her kids are more important than she is. It just makes me mad!! Yet if you ask him, he'd say "its not like that".
Well, his ems building had a christmas party for the kids like they do every year, and the kids asked about him taking him. Funny, he didnt think about it or even remember them asking him to go.
He is in lala land. I know him and the OW went to go buy the rest of our kids christmas presents from him, so now I have to deal with knowing that.
We are watching a parade today that Im sure he and the OW will be at. I did have to ask him to respect my feelings please and not come watch it in my business's parking lot. Or across the street from me.
I HATE FEELING LIKE THIS AGAIN! Im sooo mad at him for all of this! Im SO angry!! UGHHHHHHH>>>>
Sorry guys, just needing to vent.
Tired of him not speaking to me on the weekends, yet when he goes back to work, I hear from him all day long! Thats gotta stop too!!
Kissak
"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalms 56:3 M-37 H-37 S-10, D-15 M- 1993 First bomb- 12/23/06 Came and went too MANY times! Gone again 10-25-10
Hardly hear from H all weekend because he is busy shopping with the new gf.
Then today, he calls me first thing, wakes me up to tell me that he put the kids christmas presents in my truck (which was locked, he knows code) then he asks me to go pay his Post office fee, and he will pay me back, then leaves money for me and asks if I will fix him some goodies for work, which a few weeks ago I told him I would. He asked if I would pick which gifts are from him and which are from santa and if I would wrap for him too.
Ok, we are separated and he has another woman in his life, so why am I the one doing all of this??
He has texted me right much today asking different stuff about kids and how I was and just saying Hi.
I dont get it really. He sinced that I was a little down, fussed and wanted to know what was wrong with me. I just said it was times like these that I missed him some. He replyed that he understood, and that he missed me some too.
I gotta stop saying that to him, but it was said and I cant take it back. I know, I miss who I thought he was. I miss the good things. Makes me sad that he is with someone else for the holidays, but nothing I can do. And I know we cant be together.
Saw one of the women he had an affair with yesterday in the christmas parade. She was one of the married ones. I have no idea what he was thinking. She is one of the most unattractive women I have ever seen. And Im being serious. Why would my H want to be with someone like her? Or even the one he is with now???
Kissak
"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalms 56:3 M-37 H-37 S-10, D-15 M- 1993 First bomb- 12/23/06 Came and went too MANY times! Gone again 10-25-10
I just wonder what our husbands think! I tell you the OW in my husbands life is not as attractive as myself, and he has really downgraded! It is just insane! (((HUGS))) I hope your day gets better!
Lorie W47 H48 D16 M20 H gone 11/9/10 lives w/OW
When you forgive,you heal. When you let go,you grow. When you cry to God, you surrender. When you love unconditionally, you show others Christ's love.
Yes, He is blinded by the enemy...I dont know why my H is with this OW. Older and unattractive for sure.
I wonder whats going on lately. The last few days he has been texting me more at night which makes me believe he isnt staying with the OW this week at night. He seemed a little off the other night. HE did his own laundry which I would have thought his OW would be doing if he was staying there. He had the kids last night and brought them home around 8 and stayed for an hour to watch something on the TV that he wanted to see that was about his place of work. Then he left to go finish up some shopping. He of course still makes some inappropriate comments to me for someone who has a girlfriend....Guess she is his problem now to worry about.
ANYWAY~
Hope all my friends here have a Merry Christmas! and a wonderful NEW year!! Hoping the best for us all in 2011.
Kissak
"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalms 56:3 M-37 H-37 S-10, D-15 M- 1993 First bomb- 12/23/06 Came and went too MANY times! Gone again 10-25-10
Oh and another note......It will be 4 years ago tomorrow that he dropped the bomb on me. So much has changed, yet stayed the same. Ive grown...he has stayed stupid
Kissak
"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalms 56:3 M-37 H-37 S-10, D-15 M- 1993 First bomb- 12/23/06 Came and went too MANY times! Gone again 10-25-10
This morning I got an email from the man of one of the married women my H messed around with. He wants me to call at my convienance when no one is around that he has info for me!
UGH! I dont know what to do. I do business with him occasionally and I dont know if he talking business or if he found out about my H and his wife!! I really dont want to know anymore about my H's affairs. I dont need anymore images burned into my brain, yet Im not sure this is what its about.
AND my H was acting all weird this morning, texting me asking if I was ok that he had sensed a change in my attitude...I think he may be aware that this man knows about him and his wife and is afraid I will find out. My H still thinks I believe he didnt mess with her....
I hated to tell him the attitude change was because I could care less if I talk to him or not! See, today is the bomb anniversary. AND I spent several hours on the phone last night talking to a new guy friend. AND I enjoyed it. SO H was not the first thing on my mind this morning...maybe he sensed that. Maybe he sensed he didnt have me at arms length anymore...idk
ANYWAY, not sure what to do about this other man who wants me to call him. Do I call? Or do I just email him back and ask what is it he needs???
Kissak
"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalms 56:3 M-37 H-37 S-10, D-15 M- 1993 First bomb- 12/23/06 Came and went too MANY times! Gone again 10-25-10
K, I wouldn't call him...why ruin your holiday w/informatiion that he may have about the situation?
I would email him and ask if it is business related. If he says no, I would politely advise him that you do not wish to hear anything more about what is going on with your h and his situation.
Don't put yourself through any more heartache right now. You deserve some time to enjoy yourself during the holidays and whatever he has to tell you...well...it can wait.
The only saying "misery loves company"...well, I think the man emailing you wants you right in the same pot with him...don't go there right now.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
