Am I piecing? Just can't tell...

[Sad_but_happy]

Thanks Deep and Sandi, you are both so right and I will not look for OW myself...

I need to vent then I will apply logic.

Here we go...

This is BULLCR_P!!! The WAS does something so dishonest and dangerous and harmful to a marriage and then the LBS needs to change? If I had any B_lls at all, I would have told my WAW to leave and find a new place to live because I AM MOVING ON!!! And then I guarantee you SHE would regret!

I look at my W and wonder what in Gods good name is keeping me with her. Let me see now, From the standpoint of character, she has been dishonest and rude and hurtful. From the standpoint of contributing to the marriage financially, she hardly does (got an hourly job that could not support a head of lettuce). From the standpoint of eductaion she has no college under her belt. From the standpoint of aspirations, she has no clue as to what she would love to do. No dream job, etc...

So I wonder, do I want her only because OM wants her? Because I KNOW that OM would at some point dump her because he does not know the real her... Do I want her because I want my family to stay together? Do I want her out of fear of change? Do I want her because she is the mother of my children?

I wish I could say that I want her because she is the absolute love of my life, but I can't. I love her but I can almost bet dollars to donuts that there is someone better for me...


OK, got that off my chest...


Update;
Last night went well and as usual I was affectionate. Not overly but showed affection and she did not resist. I believe her feelings will come back.

I really need to know if I should start again with small gifts and flowers. If she is trying to get the feeling back then I can only assume that corting her will help the process. I know if I was on the fence and someone was showing me love and affection I would respond positivly...

It seems that at the stage I am it can only help... Anyone agree?