Well, the hearing didn't go very well. H has to pay spousal and more child support since he is dropping us from his benefits but I understand because it is going to cost him so much and the benefits that are being offered are terrible.
H got furious when he found out how much he would have to pay. But then I got him to calm down. I offered to put him on mine since it wouldn't cost anymore for me to do that until the D was final but he said he wasn't taking anything from anyone. Then his L goes and brings up the D when I was praying and hoping she wouldn't.
So she says to my L about not going through a master since neither my or H could afford the court costs or the L's fees. And just deciding between all of us. I know this is because his L doesn't want him to pay spousal for a long period of time so she is pushing the D to save him from paying.
I asked H that after I talked to my L for a minute did he have time to talk to me, and he said yes.
So we talked for around 1/2 an hour and I told H this is it and he needs to decide what he wants because on the 15th that will be it. H doesn't comprehend very well, and says no it's not, it's just a meeting. I told him that it wasn't just a meeting.
I told him I had to get back to work and he said he had to also so I asked if we could talk some more later and he said he would call me when he got home and I could come over. Back at the court house we talked about his family and he was telling me that he is a family man etc. and I told him that he has his own family and I understood what his family means to him. He told me that his sister has changed so much and is not the evil and mean person she use to be (boy does she have him fooled), and that they are very close now.
H called me at work and told me he was home and to come over when I got out, so I did. Well we didn't discuss much of the settlement at all or putting off the divorce for now, or going through with it......I was soooo nervous and I could tell he was too. We talked about the kids, and his family and he was showing me pictures of his nephews how big the one got and the one he just met a year ago when he made up with his mother and that side of the family.
We got along really good but I did have a couple of drinks because I was soooo nervous. H also had a couple, now remember he told me he quit drinking......that he didn't need it anymore.....LOL Anyway, basically we talked like friends and then we both had too much to drink. I was afraid to drive home. I don't drink to begin with and I had 4 so I was feeling pretty good. I asked H if I could stay on the couch for the night but one thing led into another and I ended up being with him again in his bedroom.
He called off of work around 2:30 a.m. (which he would never call off when we were together), I was sooo shocked!!! I also had to call off around 7:30 because I was still drunk....LOL I could have sworn he told me he loved me while we were ML but I'm not 100% positive. Too much to drink!!
So the next morning after I called off he was laying on his couch and I laid down at the other end. He said what are you doing (in a joking voice) and I said I'm laying down and as soon as I can drive I needed to get home.
We didn't talk much, I was so afraid to bring things up and I guess he was too. He would say around every 15 minutes, what are you still doing here and I got so fed up I got up off of the couch and said that I was going. Then he says I'm only joking, you can't take a joke. He grabbed me and held me (oh and by the way the night before, he thought I was sleeping and I felt him hold me like it use to be, and then I thought he fell asleep I needed to get comfortable so I rolled over and he pulled me closer to him again and that was the best part). We ML the morning after also, but then he wanted me to do it again before I left and I said that I'm not his **ore. He started making me feel like that or maybe it was just me....I really don't know.
Anyway, I was crushed because he did say he was going out later on to do some shopping and I sent him a text and no response. So I called and he didn't answer the phone so I just left him a message saying I had a quick question for him. In the text I sent him I told him that I was willing to talk to his family if they were willing to talk to me. The reason I did this was because he was talking about them and saying how much his sister has changed and is not this mean and evil person anymore and he is very close to her. I know that's what he wants to believe but I know for a fact she is still the same person. Anyway, I didn't hear from him until Sat. night. He took our daughter during the day to his brother's for their Christmas party and she didn't want to stay over at the last minute. So he brought her home around 9:30, and he actually walked her up on the porch, which he has never done since the separation. And there is a big window behind our couch and he banged on it and I thought it was our daughter trying to scare me joking around. She came in laughing saying that daddy said to her watch this, I'm going to scare your mother.
I texted him and called him a smart a@@, LOL because he did scare me!! Then within 10 min he was calling me (he was feeling good), asking if I wanted to go out. He also had his 2 sons staying over there, which the one is 17 so he drove there. Well, I don't know which one it was but they were having a fit. He asked the oldest one to drive him to my house at least and we would leave from there and his son said no. So, since I can't see very well at night, I told him I would have my son and his girlfriend pick him up and we could walk to the bar down the street from our home. We ended up going over for about an hour and a half, with his son calling almost every 15 min. Then his son told him he was coming for him and H told me. I got mad and said this was one of his problems that he had with me. Letting the kids tell us what to do and letting them come first. So he called his son and told him to turn around and that my son and his girlfriend would bring him home later.
He actually came in the house, I was upstairs getting ready cause I was not dressed and did not expect this at all. At first my son's girlfriend said he stood outside and then came in and let the dog out of his kennel (it was H's dog) but stayed with me. He was playing with him, then when we got home he said I'm not staying here, so I don't know if he wanted me to ask him to stay or what but I said no you aren't. (Son's girlfriend said he seemed like he missed being at our home) I told H that I was going downstairs to get the kids to take him home. He played with our dog while I did this and was telling the dog that he loved and missed him.
This all happened Sat. night so Sunday morning I texted him and told him I had shopping to do and would he like to come with me and he could buy me something to eat. So here we go again. I never heard anything back from him.
Forgot to tell you this part. When our daughter came home she was telling me that H was crying at the party saying he loved his Dad to his oldest brother and the brother can't stand their father and was just looking at H like what the hell....... since H talks to his Dad, so the rest of the family came in the room and he told them that I stopped at his house on Wed to talk. I couldn't believe he told them! The bad part is, our daughter and the rest of the kids got sent upstairs so she had no clue to what they said back to him. So now I'm afraid they talked him out of trying to make things work, or slowing down the divorce. But then again, he still called Sat. night and we did go out for a little while.
Don't know where to go from here since we are running out of time and I think H is realizing that also. I have to talk to him because I got a letter from my lawyer saying he needed my proposal for the divorce by the 7th because H's lawyer wanted it by the 15th. And here me and H didn't realize it is a Sat. and there isn't any meeting. I'm waiting for him to call and I'm going to ask him if he got a copy (which I know he didn't), or some kind of letter about all of this, I just hope and pray he calls. I'm so nervous. I don't know what to do.
Sorry so long, but wanted to give the biggest update I have seen in 2 years on everything.
