The different path... Continued

[newmama]

lol! Butts and farts...great...

Your boy is at least practicing some manners by not being rude about not liking some gifts! So your coaching must have paid off. I realize we can't control what they say, but when some of my students come right and say to another one "your shirt is ugly!" or say to me "I don't want that pencil- give me another one!" I can't help but wonder if their parents try to talk them about manners at all!

I can't remember- are your parents still married? Was this your main Christmas party?

[Mystik]

My parents divorced when I was a toddler, this was the party with my mom's side of the family. Aunt and Uncle, cousins and their families, my grandmother.

DS is definitley one who says what he thinks, he's lacking the tact filter. But in first grade very few of them have the tact filter, that comes as they get older. I am glad that some of my coaching paid off.

[Mystik]

Have to do a good cleaning of the apartment today. The law guardian (DS's lawyer) is coming over tomorrow evening at 5:30 to do the required home visit before the court appearance on January 4th. Will probably take up most of the day.

Have to call my dad tonight to ask about the loan for the lawyer. I was going to pay for the lawyer from my retirement fund loan, but with not getting a full paycheck next month I need that money to make sure my bills are paid. January is going to be a tight month.

[Mystik]

Just talked to H on the phone, am feeling ok. He wanted Christmas ideas for DS. Really? He can't go shopping and find stuff he knows DS will like the same as I did? He can't take DS to the toy store and let him point out ideas the way I did? DS only gave me a few ideas, the rest I remembered him asking for in the past or came up with on my own. Suppose it would be good will to throw H a lifeline and send him a list of suggestions for DS. I'll probably include things I got for DS to have at home, no harm in him having the same toy at his father's as he does at home.

[Mystik]

Gave H a typed list of some ideas, I did duplicate some items on the list and gave some suggestions that DS wanted but I didn't get for him.

He had Whore and I'm assuming Bastard Child with him when I dropped off DS. I wanted to cry on the drive home but I didn't. I just played some Daughtry really loud.

[Mystik]

Just got back from picking up DS from H. Whore and BC still with him. H mentioned they had gone to Target. Great, playing happy family with my son. DS has a scrape on his leg, said while he was at Whore's brat's grandparents house he got it. Fan-freaking-tastic. My husband is bringing my son to the whore's parents house. I find that inappropriate on so many levels, but can't control what H does with DS during his time.

This whole damn mess just feels wrong on so many levels I can't even wrap my head around it. I feel like while I have made some progress that I'm still stuck and always will be.

I'm losing my excitement for Christmas, knowing that I will be alone Christmas morning while my husband and my son are together with Whore, not me. Can we just skip from the time DS leaves on Friday until the time he comes home Saturday? Just have that block of time not exist? Please?

[Mystik]

Ugh, think I figured out why my mood has been down. It's about that time of the month, if you know what I mean. Always sinks me down. What a great Christmas present from myself.

Didn't get as much cleaning done yesterday as I had hoped. All I have left to do is put away the clean dishes and wash the dirty ones, and run the vacuum. Oh, and put away some clean laundry.

[sandi2]

It's about that time of the month,

Ah, good ole mother nature! Never fails, huh?

If you'll take an old fool's advice, don't work yourself down to the last nerve trying to have everything just perfect at Christmastime. I use to go to extremes and then be so exhausted & cranky that it wasn't worth it to my family. I've had to learn that everything doesn't have to get done(that I used to think had to be done). What mattered most to my family was seeing me merry and all of us enjoying each other.

Get plenty of rest.

[Mystik]

Thanks Sandi. I do need to work on getting more rest, and not stressing too much about having everything be perfect. I figure I'll wrap on Friday night as I put things under the tree and just focus on wrapping the gifts I'll need for Friday evening. That way I'm not stressed with how much wrapping I need to do. My mom is hosting Christmas Eve where we exchange gifts with the sibligs and their kids so I'm not going to worry about making sure my place is dusted and immaculate, either.

[Mystik]

Checked the court papers, H gets DS at 6 on Friday. Throws a wrench into plans because my mom was planning on starting her gathering around 5:30. Not sure how it's going to play out now, talked to Mom and she said she would just start earlier. But I'm worried that getting all the siblings there earlier might be a problem. Traditionally we eat first, visit a bit, open gifts, then sit and visit for a few more hours before slowly heading home. Hopefully it will all work itself out. Might tell the siblings when we gather at my sister's for dinner on Christmas day to just give DS his gifts from them then.