Am I piecing? Just can't tell...

[Harrier]

I don't know your whole story, but I think I read something where you were a WAW at some point. That's why the "no offense." I don't know how someone might take what I said.
Considering I've never been a WAS, I was just speculating.

I don't disagree with what you said. I know that you have to focus on the baby steps. But it's just hard sometimes to hear some of the stuff come out of W's mouth that sounds really, really nutty. It's even worse for me because my W is the one that really pursued me in the beginning of our relationship.

I do disagree a little bit with the DB approach about issues you have to bring up. My IC has encouraged me to stand up for myself a bit when I feel something is amiss. He said keeping the anger is part of my issues. Great example. The other night my W and I were talking bout our first MC session and my W said "We can just meet there." I assumed we were going to go together because it would be a waste of gas to drive separately and I wanted to talk about things before and after if need be. Before she went to bed, I went into our room and said. "I'm kinda upset about the decision to ride separately to the MC. I then said, "I see your point about not wanting to ride together in case something gets stirred up in MC, but I just wanted to let you know that I would prefer to go together. But I we can just meet there if it's important to you."
She then hemmed and hawed saying that maybe we could. By the next morning she said to me as we were going in our cars to work. "I think it will be okay to ride together.' She then later texted me with a time to pick her up from work.
Fast forward to the discussion last night. She said that when I talked to her about riding together, she said that was a good thing that I talked to her about it and she appreciated it."

I get the feeling under true DBing, even that would be frowned upon, but I think that was an important step in our relationship. I now am going to bring up transient issues that bug me not long-standing ones.

BTW even in spite of our heavy discussion, I was still have to have a good time with her and the kids so far. Lots of joking. I'm still bummed though.