I read your post and saw echoes of my own journey. Your H's view that if faithfulness to your marriage isn't easy it must not be real love – that could have come straight from my own H. In his view, his desire to stray was unforgivable, but in his mind the blame was really mine.
I don’t really have any advice. You seem to be ahead of me on this journey. Just know I will keep you and your S in my prayers. You deserve your healing, and clean new year.
