Doing 180, but Husband still researched D

[Phenix70]

Thank you Lisa!!!
You made me cry, but in a good way.
I really appreciate you taking the time to read my thread, I KNOW there's a lot going on here.

He hasn't paid the lawyer yet, he is supposed to do that tomorrow.
I'm going to ask him to wait because I want to contact my own atty first, I want to make sure I'm protected.
On Friday night he kept saying to me, "why do you want to hold off on the D? What do you think is going to happen? Because I'm not going to change my mind tomorrow, next week, next month or next year. I'm DONE."

I'm beginning to think it could be a MLC, the signs are pointing to that, the more I read about them.
Also his use/viewing of porn is increasing, he's watching it more than he has.

The venom that was spewing from his mouth was enough to literally make me reel back from him, it was as if once he finally started he couldn't stop.
He was hung over & I walked in on him as he was closing the porn on his laptop, so needless to say he was not happy to begin with.
It was the one of the two most vicious fights we've ever had, the first was 11/25/08.

Yesterday wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it would be after that horrible fight.
I called one of the few friends I have here & went to her house for a few hours.
It felt so good to be around someone who cares about me & to get a hug.
Who knew that something as simple as a hug can make you feel that much better?
Then I came home, took care of my dog & talked with my neighbor.
She invited me to her brother's Christmas party, I left at 6:30pm & got home at 11:30pm.
The only thing I said to H during this time was "has the dog gone out?"

Today is another day & I still deciding what I want to do today.