Thanks GAG and NM for your input! I plan to call H today and ask hime about Christmas...will throw and invite out there!
Funny thing, had a message from the Surgical Center for H to call them back on the machine when I got home. I didn't call him last night as I knew he'd be sleeping...then, this morning at 5:40am, they call wanting to know if he was coming for his "procedure". Asked me if he was here, I said no, then ask if I am his wife, I said yes (well, I am for now) so I gave them his cell #!!!
I just had the kids at the Dr on Monday and they had me update their info...surely, he has been asked to update his?
Anyway, planning a day of shopping...hope to get it finished!
WELCOME zengypsy!!! Sounds like you are in the right place! Sorry you are going thru this but you will find some pretty good ears, advice and friends here!
Others will find you easier if you start your own thread! You can copy and paste your post from here to it so you don't have to type it all out again!!! You will find a great support group here!
M48 H53 M16 T18 S16 D13 SS30 H drops bomb PA/8-30-09 H leaves 12-30-09 D filed by H 2-10 H asks to come home 4-11 Piecing
Thank you CW and sorry to have hijacked your thread. My bad...I didn't realize what the proper etiquette was. I was just more focused on getting support!
If I could delete my post, I would, but it doesn't seem like I can. But I have copied and pasted accordingly.
My apologies again....ZG
BITS
M: 48, H: 42 Kids: 0 T: 20 yrs M: 16 yrs. (H's 1st, my 2nd) WAS/MLC: 12/7/09-I'm not the wife HE deserved Came home per L: 12/26/09, Left again: 2/6/10 Served: 10/21/10, D FINAL: 6/15/11
CW - I'm finding interesting what you said about your H not changing his contact information at the doctor's....mine joined a political party few weeks ago and I just received a letter from them to H to our home....why would he give them our home address...he has his place for almost a year....hard to understand these guys....
M53 H54 D17 M33Y T38Y Bomb OW 09/09 OUT 10/09 BACK 11/09 OUT 01/10 WANTS TO R 04/10 BACK with OW 05/10 Wants to Reconcile 05/11 I said NO
Based on my experience I think their leaving your home phone as their contact information means that they don't expect to be living in their current housing for a long period of time.
I wondered why H/XH hadn't submitted an address change form to the post office after he moved into his mother's place. He lived with his mother for 8 months before he moved into the house he eventually bought. About a month before H moved into his new house it became clear that H had originally thought he was going to buy OUR house. He didn't think I could swing the purchase price myself.
Same thing here guys. I keep getting calls from Doctors, mail from different organizations, etc. that H should have changed months ago. I finally stopped collecting the mail for him into a larger envelope and started sending them promptly back as Forward please to: , The calls, I tell them he doesn't live here anymore and ask them to remove my number. He can't do that anymore, since I changed my number.
I agree, dealing with H's mail and phone calls DOES get to be annoying over time. I began to feel like telling him that I wasn't his personal secretary. But I didn't. Just bit my tongue, trying not to scare away the scared rabbit.
I used the mail and phone messages as a way to keep the thread between us. During the first 4 months, when H had a very hard time coming to the house (I think he was grieving the loss), he asked me to leave his mail in the garage (I never changed the lock code because he still has stuff in there) which I did. When things started becoming friendlier between us I would keep all of his mail in one spot in the house and every 2-3 weeks H would come to the house to get it when I was there. It was an opportunity to have the house smell and look good and to show H the new me.............kinda like what glamgirl posted on my thread yesterday.
I called H. Asked what he was planning for Christmas with the kids. He said that he knew Christmas fell on "the weekend" (meaning his). He said he had a few extra days off after the holiday and thought he might get the kids then. Told him that SS and family were coming for brunch and that there were no other plans so if he wanted them Christmas day later that was fine. He said he will let me know. I am sure...sorry...mind-reading, that he will have to consult with OW first. So, he didn't even plan to spend the holiday with the kids at all. IF he calls back wanting to get the kids Christmas day, I will extend the invite.
DIL has tried calling him twice the last 2 days and he has not answered or returned her calls.
M48 H53 M16 T18 S16 D13 SS30 H drops bomb PA/8-30-09 H leaves 12-30-09 D filed by H 2-10 H asks to come home 4-11 Piecing
