Am I piecing? Just can't tell...

[Sad_but_happy]

Thank you Sandi, your response was thoughtful, comforting and well thought out. I too believe that my W and I will survive this. There are great signs every day...

I just want to make other LBS's aware of the importance of NOT pressuring... Here is an example of it I got this morning...

I woke up this morning VERY ANGRY... Mostly angry b/c I wanted my W to do SOMETHING physical (grab my hand, rub my back, SOMETHING) while we were just waking up... She didn't of course. I got out of bed, and went into the family room to watch some ESPN

She came down and sat beside me and asked if she could make me some breakfast to which I said yes and thank you. I was STILL angry. Lack of physical touch is a killer. I wanted to say something to bait her into R talk. What came out is this:

"W, Are you happy?"

Her response, "Sure"

And then I WANTED to say, "then lets discuss our R and assess where we are." BUT, all I said was, "good".

And that ended the conversation. Both of us smiled at one another and we continued to sit together and watch ESPN...

When I play out in my head what COULD HAVE happened had I pursued R talk, I can imagine her becoming tense, and defensive, and moving distant... The opposite of what I want...

The conclusion:
When her girl friend came to pick her up to go shopping this morning I got my first kiss on the lips in 3 months... Another small step forward...

I doubt that would have happened had I continued with R talk... Her mood would have been completely different... So I am glad I was able to find the strength to fight the urge to talk about it...


The steps are slow but they DO work... I admit that I have been lucky... My journey has progressed faster then most and when I think of some of the sitches I read on this site it breaks my heart. Knowing the pain that you all are enduring...

Thanks to everyone that has helped me...