GAL with waw. Stuck bad.

[gr8 day 2B alive]

hab,

I have been where you're at. I understand you concern about letting her go will mean you are OK with D.

In essence that is true. No matter the outcome you will survive.
Remember to make changes for you, not to impress her. She will know the difference and call you out on it. This will demoralize you efforts.

something from my past.
For the first 6-8 months I chased and made chqanges to "get my W back".

I was afraid of Single life and being a single dad. I feared D.

My W wanted to get a post-marital agreement(PMA) in place so everything would be divided up if/when she decided to file.
That hung over me for months. She took her time on all her decisions. My fear grew each day waiting for that email from her to say we need to meet for the PMA.

It wasn't until I started to live my live for me that I was in control of my actions. I had decisions and a say too.
I was rthe one who contacted her for the meeting. I decided I needed to face my fears head on. I decided that I need better in life.
I asked her if she wanted a D she said yes. Then I asked her if she thought is was the best thing for us, again another yes. I agreed. That was in May this year. We finally met with the mediator to draw up the contract.
I was calm, cool and collective in the meeting. She broke down and started to cry.
A few weeks later she called to reach out for me and I didn't accept her that day. I knew she wasn't ready to commit. It took another month of emails to get where I'm at now.
We are now "dating" I am much stronger aqnd know what I want and need in a R. I have and will continue to set my boundaries in regards to how I expect to be treated.

Sorry to ramble.So

I really don't want to agree with her though. I don't want it to appear that I am ready to move on with D also. I need to think about how I am going to show her I understand how she feels, but at the same time, she needs to know where I stand. I want to be prepared for this moment so it doesn't escalate into something worse than it already is.

You don't have to agree with her. You need to accept her decision and understand her.

“Understanding is the first step to acceptance, and only with acceptance can there be recovery.”

I forgot to mention. It was until I detached and moved on with my life did my W start to notice me. She even she: you tried for 6 months then you just stopped.
Funny how the WAW notices that but not all the dancing and screaming we do to win them back.