FMV, I think we're staying the course. My W was on good behavior at the big hall ballroom dance. I honored my commitment and left after two hours. We were able to dance together without much fussing. I consider this progress. She wasn't asked to dance much by other guys. I told our studio instructor that I would be willing to organize getting a table for our students at the next dance in March.
We're spending a lot of free time together these days--dance lessons, exercise, restaurants, dance venues. The connection has been restored. Maybe the ground is getting fertile for intimacy.
I had looked into refinancing our mortgage for 15 years several weeks ago. It would have raised our payment by too much for us. She came to me this week and offered to pay down the mortgage by $10K to make if possible for us to consider this.
We seem to like the same restaurants (good value and food versus fine dining, such as bars, delis, tea houses), the same dances (Cha Cha, Rumba, Salsa, and I'll add Foxtrot).
When she complains to me about her job with the restaurant owner who mismanages his finances, I ask her what her next step is. I won't rescue her, but will assist her. I used to look for job ads for her, but now won't take on her problems.
I think about what you said about protecting her. I understand the word protect more than I do enabling, though both mean the same thing. The word protect has been resonating with me ever since you pointed it out.
CL
CL 53 W 54 M 20 yrs. 03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL 10-14' Piecing
"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."
