Update: Over the past few days, she has continued to email me. I think she trying to test me. She stated that she could come over to get her mail on one of two days. One in which I would be in the house and a second day where I was guaranteed not to be in the house. She kept asking me which day I wanted her to visit and I kept putting it back on her. I repeatedly stated that it was her choice. I think she wanted me to ask her to come over for one of two reasons: 1) To continue to reaffirm her control over the situation 2) she really just wanted to come over but won't admit it because she would have to relinquish control. After putting it back on her a couple of times, she, of course, chose the option of Saturday when I will not be home due to a nice weekend trip I have planned.

I am very happy to report that I am taking a "guys trip" this weekend to attend a college bowl game in another city. I am very excited about the trip and can't wait to hang out with my friends. I made sure to mention that multiple times in our emails to each other. In essence I stated, "You can come over Friday night while I will be here or you can over on Saturday, when I will not. Either way, I am going on my trip and I intend to have a blast. The pics will be on Facebook on Monday. Have a nice weekend. Later..." Despite the fact that I still miss her more than words can explain, living my life feels great. I can't stress this enough to any newcomers. Hit the gym, eat your favorite foods, buy yourself a few nice things (don't go overboard) and do whatever the heck you feel like for a couple of weeks. It will do wonders for the mind and soul.

I am very happy conducting this 180 and I think I might be starting to see some results. I guess we will see. I still think her sudden change in attitude is a trap so that she can serve me with papers and not feel guilty. Ahhh, you want to know something? I don't care right now. I have been looking forward to this trip all week long and she is not going to ruin this for me. For the next couple of days, I want to forget she ever existed. I am hours away from a great weekend with some good friends. Cold beer, football, and good times. There will be plenty of time to work on my marriage (or lack there of) when I get home. After all, time is all I have on my side right now. Well, time and a wonderful, loving family who will always be here for me long after my WAS is gone. I wish all a great weekend!

Fell on "maybe not so" black days

Me: 39
W: 36
T: 15 yrs
M: 9 yrs
S: 09/10

So you can get on with your search, baby
And I can get on with mine
And maybe someday we will find,
That it wasn't really wasted time...