To me, it would be like planning to climb a mountain. You are on ground level looking up at this very rough, scary, and intimidating monster of a mountain. That mountain is very much like your M. From where you stand, you can see that the climb will not easily or quickly accomplished. There are some tricky areas where you might slip, might even get scrapped up some.....or hurt pretty badly. You're standing there with all your climbing gear (DBing),but what to do first....start taking steps. No matter how equipped you may be with the best tools (advice), you still have to start the climb by putting one foot in front of the other.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Well said and thanks. All could change but at this very moment I have little desire to try 4-5 times in 7 days she has expressed how she is completly uninterested in this M she is and yesterday how her head is still in the A. I feel as if that last thread of emotion is about to be cut. I feel like if it were not for xmas and kids I would be saying. Get out. And yes this could change.
H 37 WW 37 M 15 5 Children Bomb 9-27-10 W EA/Pa she filed 12-18-10
"I have little desire to try 4-5 times in 7 days she has expressed how she is completly uninterested in this M"
Then stop "trying" and just start doing. Treat her as you would a friend. The resentment will well up in you, but stuff that down as best you can. The way I got through that period was I saw my W as one of those crazy homeless people that you see sometimes muttering to themselves. After that, nothing she did or said really bothered me. I just tsked tsked it and chose to be happy.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
Pretty sure she filed. D papers today they r not where they have been bug the accompanying pamphlets are still there. With this again comes the thoughy how could this be happening to my M.
H 37 WW 37 M 15 5 Children Bomb 9-27-10 W EA/Pa she filed 12-18-10
Thing is I have been treating her as my friend. And I think it has only caused false niceness from her. She just wants out she feels om is soulmate and all that her happiness that we once had. She has not budged on her plan to move out and I am very very sure she filed today.
H 37 WW 37 M 15 5 Children Bomb 9-27-10 W EA/Pa she filed 12-18-10
Okay, let's say she has filed today. Now what? Christmastime will still come. Life will continue. Your children will still be there looking for daddy to be their leader. Those kids need a hero, and if you aren't up for the job--then you better believe they will hunt somebody else out.
You have to get a plan. Instead of staying so glued to what she is or isn't doing...go on about Christmas and living it up with your kids. Then the next week, have some more plans, but get up and do this for them.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
I didn't want to wonder so I went to the courthouse, the clerks are helpful looked it up and all. She filed the way its filed after I am served the earliest a hearing can take place is 6 months in accordance with the law.
I will continue to take care of my home and kids have been all along. We are plenty busy and i have been making sure they are getting plenty of posotive. Lotso hugs around here. i am sure they know something is up but no idea the depth of it. I was hoping she would have turned towards me rather than futher away.
H 37 WW 37 M 15 5 Children Bomb 9-27-10 W EA/Pa she filed 12-18-10
"Thing is I have been treating her as my friend. And I think it has only caused false niceness from her. "
Mindreading. It could be that your lack of pressure has softened her. Either way, there's no point in "analyzing" why she treats you the way she does.
"I was hoping she would have turned towards me rather than futher away."
Not going to happen that quickly.
Like sandi says, just start off small. And rebuild. Stay on course while the fog of the A starts going away.
"I didn't want to wonder so I went to the courthouse, the clerks are helpful looked it up and all. She filed the way its filed after I am served the earliest a hearing can take place is 6 months in accordance with the law."
Now you know, so get going.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
Reading. DR again my brain was super jumbled when I first read it. Got help for that. Who knows where this will end up I will do my best to save it unless my heart changes.
When my kids r happy so am I
H 37 WW 37 M 15 5 Children Bomb 9-27-10 W EA/Pa she filed 12-18-10
