LRT and Christmas

[angel61]

HI Barb,
They always rewrite history - my H says he was never happy in our M when just a year ago he was telling me how glad he was that we didnot have any major problems, I see all our smiling, laughing pictures, we bought a timeshare last year because we were so sure that we were going to go on endless vacations together, then BAM! everything was a bad memory! Its all an excuse for their feelings, thats it. Think about it, we also use excuses for a lot of things!

I think there's really no way to compete with an OW, so the next ting to do is to look at what you have to offer and work on that. Like in my case, OW is 31 and I am 49. But I am the one with his daughter, while she does not have that. I am the one who could create a home that he would want to go home to.

What I did during the time he was in EA was to create a calm atmosphere at home, make sure it was always clean, make sure his clothes were always laundered, the sheets changed, the dog and daughter fed and happy.

Feed his ego in your own way - compliment him, his looks, any samll achievement. Thank him whenever you could. Tell him he is a good father (if he is). Think about things you have done before that made him feel down.

I listened to my H with an open mind and realized that I did direspect him in the past by not trusting him to make decisions about our family, by always adding my own slant to his decisions, or by arguing about them. I should have chosen my battles wisely then.

You cannot be like OW, be better than OW, in a different way, but work on what you see she does.

Hopefully, he will be sane enough one day to realize it.