SBH Yelling and screaming don't have to be unnecessary. But, come we are human not robots. I'm not saying you launch into yelling, but to claim that they are unnecessary is foolish I think. Look at the book I referenced. This guy did actual studies on married couples and found that even those who yelled and screamed could have highly successful marriages. I'm not asking you to take my word...read his work. Focusing on whether you yelling or not totally misses the point and if you focus on that, you could be back here in a year. You can be 10X more hurtful and harm the marriage without ever raising your voice. So patting yourself on the back for not yelling doesn't really mean anything to me, if you don't argue the way to preserve the marriage.
Mr. Bond. I disagree 110%. And your post actually proves it. You attempt to belittle the "yeller." The person who doesn't yell can actually think they are better because they don't lose control. It's basic psychology. As for your example, it really depends on the situation. If my wife and I were arguing about my driving and I was going the wrong way on a one-way street. I'd hope to God she'd yell at me. If my wife never yelled at me, I'd think something was wrong with her. All I'm saying is that it's OK to yell, if you do it in a certain way.
But No one is going to agree 100% on things. but I'm darn sure my yelling or lack of yelling is not the reason I'm in the situation I'm in.
Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet. --Jean Jacques Rousseau.
