I don't even know where to start anymore. Last night was the night to talk about rcovery and how we get there. I list 7 things one being no contact with OM, which I have continued to request to both her and OM. I ask her in the last three weeks (after I confronted OM two weeks ago again) if there had been contact. She says yes phone calls but we are just friends.
I lose it right in front of the counseler and tell her that we are never going to recover if she keeps talking to OM. I ask her a couple of other questions about contact with him to see if she is telling the truth (in both cases she lied OM's wife told me they had talked on such and such date).
Counseler says she should stop talking to OM I asked her if she respects me she should stop. Tell her she is disrepcting not only me but OM's wife who has asked her a number of times to stop calling hub.
She then writes a nice letter about what has happened over the last 7 years of our marriage. How she has been hurt. Says that we never really connected on a deep level, which is a bunch of BS. Says she does not know what to do her heart hurts because she can't feel the way she should about be. Says that she will not do dates and other things till her heart is into it.
Says she knows I have changed and feels bad that she can't treat me the right way. Says I am a friend and loves me. But does not feel the way she should. I have hurt her and does not know if she can get it back.
I and counseler have told her that the only way to recover the marriage is to stop with OM. Does not want to listen since she is now only friends with him.
What a mess! I have been in Plan A since early this spring and it has not helped one bit. Counseler has asked to see us each seperatly next time. I really wounder if she knows what the hell she is doing. We have no plan to recover and seem to be just going aimlessly with no direction.
I know my wife is just as frustrated and hurt. She just does not know how to overcome all of this. We really got into it right in front of the counseler yelling and all. Big time LB. But I can not handle all the deciet that is going on.
Thanks for letting me vent. I have copied some of the stuff from this site and she is starting to read it. Let's see if that helps.
