Am I piecing? Just can't tell...

[sandi2]

I was a fool, too. Learn from your experience and grow. That will be the best thing you can ever do for yourself...and for your family. You will not (I hope) ever take those things for granted again.

The best way to know if your W is faking is her body language. If the two of you are spooning, you should be able to sense tension in her body. If you can tell that she's tense...that is your sign to just lay comfortably but don't let your hands wander, breathe in her ear, stroke her hair, etc. She needs to learn she can lay in your arms relaxed without you expecting more from her. That may sound a bit cold, but it will take time for her to be ready to receive you sexually. If she tries before she's truly ready, then it could cause some frigid problems.

I think she is showing you that she "is" trying to meet you in the middle, but I think I could also suggest that she's hoping you will not push for much more, for now. An EA messes up the mind and body so badly, but she can get it back in time.

Do I stay the course?

Yes! Sometimes the course has to be adjusted b/c we learn as we go along.

Do I need to make her miss me more?

I think it is good to give her plenty of breathing space. Going out with the guys once in a while, or giving her a free Saturday without you and the kids would probably help her. Since she's broken off her EA and working on the M, then I wouldn't say she needs to miss you, she just doesn't need to feel that you suck up the air around her.

Your W is doing 1000% better than I did. I was not want to stay. I could hardly stand to be in the opposite end of the house with my H. It took a loooooooong time before I wanted him to even hug me. Oh, he would have went fast as lightening if I would have. Most H's want to go much faster b/c they want the assurance, and they want everything to get back to normal ASAP. But for the WAW, it just doesn't happen that easily.

I remember once when I showed a tiny bit of hope and he was so relieved he kissed me on my shoulder. I immediately tensed b/c knowing him like I do...I knew he thought everything was back to normal....and I knew it was a long way from normal. I'd dare say that what a lot of what LBH's refer to as "limbo" is actually them having to "wait" for the WAW's heart to be open again.

The fact that both of you go to bed together is wonderful! Don't stop doing that, ever. As far coming in late, I'd say just get into bed and quietly & gently snuggle up against her without waking her.

Don't worry if your timetable isn't exactly like another couple's.

((hugs))