Awest- Thanks for your feedback. It is so helpful to hear that it does get better. It is hard in the middle of this pain to see that it won't always feel this way. I have been trying to do things to make me feel better about myself, and it does help, I agree with you. I think the hardest part for me is getting past the rejection by a person who I thought was such a great guy. I know you understand, but to have the person who knows you better than anyone else decide that he is better off living alone, away from his son, and creating a finacial mess for both of you. I try to factor in that it is not all about me b/c he is still in contact with ow, but the rejection is still hard. Right now I am not sure how you ever feel better about that.
NM- I am glad you act about our interaction. That has been so hard for me lately!! I orginally was limiting contact, keeping our interactions positive but as short as possible. Just in the past week I have started talking a little bit more with him. Sharing our son has made it really difficult to know how to be around him. Part of feels that it is really important for our son to see us interact with each other in a positive way. I feel like for my own healing eventually I do need to have a friendly relationship b/c I am the kind of person who cannot stand feeling like someone is upset with me or giving someone the cold shoulder. But what is so frustrating to me right now, is that when I am friendly he can be really short and irritable with me sometimes. He will get annoyed by me really easily. And this hurts my feelings so much, b/c I am trying so hard to get past what he has done and be friendly for the sake of our son and I don't get why he can't just act the same way back, after all he has done. It is really hurtful! So I am not really sure right now what is the best thing to do. Christmas is hard, I do not have family out here. They are coming out shortly after Christmas, but cannot make it on the actual day. My h wants to get together Christmas morning to watch s open presents. Then I was going to let him take him to his grandma's for the afternoon.
