I am so confused. Woke up this morning thinking maybe I am just wanting to take control back. H has to know that I know. Maybe I shouldn't worry about what has been done or not done in the past. Only try to live my life this way going forward.
Am I trying to correct mistakes in the past when I should be building strength for the challenges that are in front of me?
So many questions. No clear answers.
*****
Mostly doing ok, despite my confused state. Tonight is my second night off from being mom. I get my girl back tomorrow morning, so I'm trying to get everything I can done before then.
D continues to adjust well. Still have behavior issues, but now seem more in the normal range. Nice to hear a happy little girl on the phone when she is with her daddy instead of how sad she was before. H continues to maintain a slightly higher level of contact. Things are more relaxed right now.
Did a bunch of shopping last night and set up a little-cousin play date for tomorrow afternoon. Tonight I want to clean house and catch up on paperwork. Also want to set up for holiday projects to do with D this weelend. Main goal is to be asleep within 5 minutes of D's night-night call though. Need to shake this sinus cold and get some rest.
