I understand how you feel Sinclair. In my experience there are three obvious effects of breaking contact.
First, and most important, it allows you to really detach and heal. It eventually reduces some of the daily drama that maybe taking a bigger toll on you than you currently realize.
Second, it brings home to her your true value in her life. In my wife's case I had been meeting most of her emotional needs for 23 years and it wasn't until I stopped doing it that she realized how much it was the air she breathed.
Thirdly, and related to the second point, it forces your wife to get all her needs met by the OM. I'm sure like me you met most of your wife's needs but not all. She is using the OM to fill the gap. That works great for her as long as you are the meal and he's the treat. Once she tries to live on treats she'll see the problem. Your job now, and you've done a great job to this point, is to identify what needs you weren't meeting and show her you're capable of doing it. You've planted that seed with her the last two months, now you're backing off to let it grow.
You seem very strong to me and I see some great signs that your wife will come around. Hang in there.
