H's MLC - finding compassion and forgiveness

[Mila]

Thank you Punkin, GAG, Kissak & Glam

Well girls and boys I've invited H to spend Xmas Eve with us. To start from the beginning...H came over because he wanted to divide our Xmas decorations so he can do his tree...I wasn't trilled about it because I was collecting these for years and our tree has a very distinct style, but I was cheerful and welcoming when he came. I did say, "I didn't expect you asking for the Xmas decorations, but go ahead take whatever you want, If I won't have enough to decorate our tree I'll get some more.
As he was bringing all the boxes into the kitchen I offered to make him a latte and he accepted....as I was making it he was right beside me looking through the boxes and picking out my favorite decorations...I didn't stop myself in time and said "you are taking all the best ones....H got ruffled, but not much "How am I taking the best ones, see you still have nice ones left" then I said sorry I shouldn't have said anything, I just love those, but they are only things, so really take anything you want, I mean it"....but he said that he is finished....so didn't he take that much. As he was sipping his latte, he was eying the pumpkin bread that I have made, asked if he wanted a piece....of course he did... and then he was going on how good it was...Also managed to compliment me on my new sweater that I was wearing, and as he did, he was "feeling" the material and my arm lol....

Later I said "You are welcome to come and join us for Xmas Eve if you like, I think that it would be good for D, you don't have to decide now, but let me know". H got quite emotional and had a hard time holding back the tears...when he recovered he said "I was expecting you to invite me when we last talked, but you didn't...I thought that we would celebrate events like Holidays and birthdays together as a family"....I said (nicely) "You were expecting it?"....he was looking for words and then said "Well actually I should have said I was hoping that you would invite me"...He accepted my invitation....

Second issue was him wanting us to go visit his dad as a family. I said that I was going to go and see FIL with D anyway, so if he wants us to go all together that's fine. He said "it would be good for my dad to see us all together"....We are going on Thursday.

Looks like OW will be alone in his apartment on Thursday and Xmas Eve as well....while he is with his family...anybody else thinks that this is weird?

I really think that my H wants to have it all...family and OW.....

Oh yes and he calls me later because he "forgot" to talk about presents for his dad and family. H asked for my help and I said sure lets divide it, you buy your dad's (he didn't buy his dad a present in 33 years, I always did) and I'll buy for his wife....first he said OK, and then started, I don't know his size, are you by any chance going to the mall, maybe you can look and see if you find something for him, If not I'll go.....grrrr....I said fine...