Wise words from MLW! We have choices as to how much we will let the MLCer take from us.
Sweetie, I don't think you're in denial. What you're trying to do is process all that has happened to you. You've been hit by an avalanche and you're slowly digging your way out. With each shovel full cleared progress is made. I know that it is a slow go at times but you will get there!
Just looking back to where you started, you are doing amazingly well!