I wonder if part of the problem for some people is that they're so caught up in the marriage, they overlook that there could truly be issues that are bigger than they even realize.That they are more attached to the marriage, then they even are to their spouse.Sort of like "I can't get divorced, I won't end my marriage" & not "I don't want to lose my spouse."It's as if they're afraid of losing the marriage & therefore quite possibly their self identity BUT NOT losing their spouse since the focus is on the marriage and NOT the spouse.
Thanks for the clarity. This makes a lot of sense. I think I tend to be one of these people. However, I have to say for me it is in a way my pride. Since, my H has rejected me, I avoid saying I don't want to loose me spouse and instead say I want to keep my marriage. But what you are saying makes more sense than my own reasoning. My marriage has become such a big part of who I am that I feel lost. I believe that my H probably feels the same way. Either way, I am more attached to the marriage and have a significant fear of not being married anymore.
I spoke to my IC. She said what she saw in my husband was that he seemed already detached from the marriage and seemed to just be going through the motions. The only one still holding on was me. Her suggestion was that I begin to work on finding my own happiness and love and do so without my H. She also said that once I have let go, perhaps their might be a future with my husband, but pehaps there may not be. Either way, I am living my life. I suppose this could also be viewed as part of what happens when using LRT and even with detachment.
M = 10.5 years H = 35 W = 39 D = 10 S = 12 SD = 19 Bomb Dropped = 10/27 EA = April
