IB, I have been thinking about you and wishing I could think of something to say as you may not realize but you and this board have helped me so much. I did receive the papers and it sort of changed me a little. I am sure I will go down a few more times before I am able to keep myself up for good but right now I cant say I am happy, but I am ok and can see happy. I miss my marriage too but my h is not my h, as many times as I have been told to detach and let him go, I think it is sinking in. I dont want this person who is walking around talking and looking like my sweet, loving husband. This guy is an ass and I would not have given him a second look. This new perspective has helped so much, to see him as someone else. I love my husband and do hope he remembers who he is someday and I can forgive him but today, no. I deserve someone who treats me with respect and love as he used to, and so do you. I cant count on him so I have to do it for myself. I am making new traditions with my kids and doing things my way instead of our old way. Kinda fun to experiment and bring back traditions my mom used to do with us that I had let go of.

I hope I did not hijack your thread, I just am in a good place today and hope you will find yours again soon. Enjoy what you can, they have stolen enough of our year from us and we deserve to send 2010 out on our terms.

best wishes.
mlw

Me 38
H 39
T 22years
M 15years
DS 14, DS 12, DD 6
Bomb 3/2010 h's 39th bday
"Temporarily" Separated 6/7/10
H EA cant let myself believe anything more.
H files 10/10